It was when I was brewing my coffee this morning, in that moment of my daily routine when I was about to pour boiling water onto the coffee powder into my french press as John entered the kitchen. I said ‚Good morning.‘ to him, and then he said ‚Good morning!‘ to me, and after that I just pointed out of the window and along with that I also must have had some kind of expression on my face that showed clearly how much I disliked this February morning’s weather: Cold foggy air, grey cloudy sky, dirty white ground.
I had just wanted to enjoy this day off after a challenging week where I had gone way over my capacity (due to too much ‚I should‘ and too little time by myself), which eventually ended in some sort of unpleasant crash of acute exhaustion on Friday evening. This uninviting situation out there, it neither lit me up nor felt I uplifted at all, as I had taken a first look out of my window when opening my eyes after a long deep sleep.

John, however, answered by casually shrugging his shoulders, first looked out of the window, then at me, smiled and said: ‚Yeah, I don’t know yet.‘
It goes beyond the approach of today’s weather: Fixed ideas about how the future is going to turn out, prejudices about people who we have already seen but not yet talked to, solid images and made up stories we hold about ourselves… What if we faced all of that with a bit more clueless curiosity instead? A little daily portion of this attitude for each of us is maybe helpful for all of us!?

So far, I haven’t made my way outside but we’ll see how it goes. The cold air might bring refreshment into my lungs, I might just enjoy watching the grey clouds pass by, and there might be interesting patterns to explore in the muddy snow. And who knows, the weather might even change within the next hours. I just don’t know yet.

A few days later, down by the water: Pre-melting, post-breaking.

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