Well, what’s left to say about vitality after a 10 hour long job-day?
It’s gratitude that I’m not caught in a full time job that is constricting me constantly. It’s relief about not having to believe that I have to work 5 days a week for 8 hours on each of them. I DO love to work. And I DON’T like to get up in the morning to go to a job. But it’s okay for now to have this job, even though it feels like a compromise. Of course, having to make compromises here and there is also just part of being realistic about life, and yet: I’m such an idealist. I find myself often in a state of restlessness, always striving to refine the quality of the life I lead by looking at that which could be improved. Sometimes, this actually makes me change something to the better, and other times it makes me blind for the things that are already pretty perfect as they are.
I consider myself young, and one day before I call myself old, I don’t want to have to go to a job anymore. I just want to work, ideally make a living by doing what I love and enhance what I believe in, so that it may enable a coming to life of what I regard as important for the world.
Suppressing versus uplifting
I believe, we all intuitively basically know it, the difference between Work and a job. Here’s how I see it: A job is ‘outside in’, being somehow suppressed by requirements and expectations that come from the outer, whereas Work is ‘inside out’: Creative, generative, progressive, any kind of activity which is about letting out and exploring that what is truly YOU. To me, Work is pulling upwards and open. A job is pushing backwards and down.
That’s maybe quite black and white, but overall, I still think it’s like that. It does take more courage to do Work instead of just doing a job. But it also takes more energy to do a job instead of doing real Work. And to me, life is too precious that I’m afraid of wasting it and not making the most of it due to a lack of energy which is caused by engaging to much with things that don’t actually mean anything to me.
Today was a job day
The worst? A feeling of being too tired to be social, a stressed body whose annoyed spine is communicating by expressing some pain, a foggy mind with some thoughts about all these people who either spend too much time at their jobs instead of pursuing their real Work, who just muddle through to only live for a short while on weekends and when being on holiday. And then, reality is also that so many people are either not getting employment at all or they work very hard but don’t earn money enough to feed their families or maybe not even themselves. Fucked up.
The best? Two super fast bike rides through super fresh air, a cool working team, a hot shower on my tired skin, and after that letting myself sink lazily into the coziness of the couch – deeply convinced that it was finally okay to rest, which eventually gave space to excitement about some deep sleep and a fully free Friday day ahead. Deluxe.
(Update: A few hours after posting this, I accidentally came across a facebook article on the same topic, written by Elizabeth Gilbert who’s one of my most favorite authors and well known for her book ‘Eat, Pray, Love’. Her text is somewhat a professional version of mine, she distinguishes beautifully between hobby, job, career and vocation.)