So maybe this one is gonna be similar to a proper journal entry, and that’s something I actually don’t want to make this about. Today, I talked and laughed and cried and danced, all of that under the bare sky with a bunch of people around me the whole day. I relaxed with eyes closed on the grass in the warmth of the very first May sun and later I shivered, wishing for a warmer jacket or at least some warming company as I was walking home and speeding up radically when taking my steps through the coldness of the night.
I’m not feeling great but I do feel alive. And vitality is not about feeling superduper awesome all the time. Rather, it is about being fully with what is. There’s some rawness to it, allowing and embracing that what is (in) you, accepting that what is present in order to move through discomfort faster. Allowing oneself to feel stuff, both the ‘good’ and the ‘bad’. Letting it in at first, and then letting it out as well, releasing it whatever form and expression that might take.
“Remember, acceptance does not mean passive resignation. Not at all. It means taking a situation, feeling it and embracing it in awareness as completely as one can manage, however challenging or horrible it may be, and recognizing that things are as they are, independent of our liking or disliking the situation and wanting it to be different. Then we can intentionally or intuitively choose to be in what might be a wiser relationship to the present moment. This could include, when necessary or possible, taking some action or other. But it might also include simply being still, keeping in mind that everything is always changing, that non-doing is itself a powerful form of action.”
– Jon Kabat-Zinn, Full Catastrophe Living