Actually, I need to admit something now. A couple of weeks ago, I wrote about my job here. I did not write about it with full enthusiasm, but I think to remember that I wrote it was quite okay, and simply necessary to do so. Maybe my words gave the impression as if I was wanting to make this mere money job a more meaningful and joyful affair of mine, but between the lines you could clearly read that I wasn’t quite there yet. And I didn’t even know if I’d ever be. But I had hope at that time. I mean, what else was I supposed to have otherwise? Trying, every job day a new, to move patiently through resistance, doubt, frustration and stress, nothing else remained to be done. Trying, each morning I’d show up there, to see the bright side of it, to shift my focus to what I appreciated, to look at what I had and could gain from it.
And so this job day today, after the past weeks where this must have been silently building up inside me, I’ve realized (and here comes my confession):
My job is fun!!!
And it’s not anymore just the bike ride there that I love about these job days (even though I still passionately love them as well, and today I enjoyed it especially much because I was cycling through finest late May rain that just felt fantastic – for real!). It’s probably all because time has simply allowed to deepen our collegial relationships, to give me a better general overview that comes along with a growing confidence in myself and all the different tasks I take on. This job actually has some true potential, and that is what I had hoped for, believed in but not yet felt back then. Latest from today on, I do know.
So, this is a simple one, but sometimes it has to be fairly easy, especially when we’re in a tricky and unclear situation: If _____ makes you feel better (whether ‘better’ means increased levels of good mood, more energy or whatever state of mind and being you want to find yourself in): Then it’s maybe the right thing to do. And if it doesn’t, it’s probably not the place to be. But also, trust in time. If there’s one thing that is predictable, it is change, that is one of very few things we can always rely on. And the real big art is to find the balance between relying on change that time will naturally bring about, to put energy into changing it by your own efforts or daring to step out and into something else, because patiently waiting is obviously not always the solution.
For now and for me, it was the former, and it has been totally worth it.